The Way You Make Me Feel

Sounds like I’ll tell you about love stories? Carry on reading. 😉

One of my main reasons to quit my previous study was that I felt my language was not sufficient enough. Even in the smaller group that consists of less people, I still had difficulties to express what I really meant. Somebody asked me once, how I felt, if I contributed anything at all. It might sound like a concern, just wondering or really a question that actually demanded more of my contribution. I didn’t check it further. It just felt like a stab in my heart and I started to question my being there. In the second semester I preferred to sit often at the back of the class to be able to get overview of the class and saw what was going on.

Long story short, I made my way to move on, somewhere else. That means from female-dominated and mixed range of age of studies, to a male-dominated study that consists of fellow students who are mostly just finished with their secondary school.

After two semesters in my previous studies, I managed to remember all my classmates’ names, even their voices. In the beginning of my new school, I was wondering how long it would take me to at least remember names of my classmates. I think it was about after one month. I am still working on the voices, though 😀 I was expecting to be able to talk to everybody. Not an easy thing. Since I don’t think everybody feels the urge to talk to me. 😛

Anywho, I noticed some occasions which made me feel that I existed. Among others is when the first time I got assignment to edit my own video, I had no clue how to do it. So I took my time, sitting in the computer lab to find out how it worked. I youtubed, I googled. One classmate came in, about to deliver his video. He saw me. I greeted back. He wondered if I needed help. Surprise no. 1. I thought that I was still far from even getting started, so I just said: No, it’s ok.

Not long after that, I started to get idea how to start, then came other classmates, who would work on their editing as well. One of them was asking me if I needed help. Surprise no. 2. I did ask him something. Finally I managed to finish my assignment. It was far from perfect. I knew it was just a beginning, it was just a debut, not masterpiece. However, I was touched by two offers to help that I got that day.

A little flashback, a few years ago when I worked in my hometown, Jakarta, one of my directors used to do this: After he got back from holidays, he came to every single employee in the office, all the way from entrance until he got to his seat, shaking our hands and asking how we were. I was so amazed with that wonderful greeting. Unforgettable. He made us feel appreciated. Oh well, I don’t know how the others felt, at least I felt that.

Haven’t read any love stories in this blogpost yet so far? You surely won’t. If I started to write love stories here, I might be working on my romantic novel by now already. But that’s not one of the goals in my life so far. 😛

 

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